A Better Perspective

Fresh perspective can be priceless.  It can determine the difference between despair and peace.  Not only can the simple factor of time heal wounds, but the wise and objective words of someone outside a situation can bring clarity of mind. 

Two days ago I was sad and distraught after hearing some unflattering news about my husband.  I see now that the enemy used that news to suck me into wallowing in shame and tried to make me feel responsible somehow.  I was clutching onto a responsibility that is not mine.  The fresh perspective of a friend helped me see what is and what is not my responsibility.   I am not responsible for the actions of any other, including my soon-to-be former spouse.  I am not responsible for the decisions, words, or behavior of anyone but myself.  So, in essence, if someone wants to dig their own grave, don't pin it on me. 

Don't get me wrong.  It isn't that the information I heard doesn't still upset me or that I have elected to gloat about someone else's poor decisions; as the apostle Paul would say, "May it never be!"  At the same time, I don't have to let myself be dragged down in the process.

When I pray with my son at bedtime, my prayer for his daddy is for protection and that he would make good decisions.  I will continue to pray for both, because I know God hears. 

A Prayer

You know, you get to a point in a crummy situation when you believe the worst is behind you and nothing more can hurt like it did when it was fresh.  Then, you hear things... sad things... embarrassing things... hurtful things...

It's been eleven months since my husband left me.  I cannot believe it has been one month shy of a full year.  But it has.  I think I am adjusting; the situation still isn't what I wanted or expected but I'm adjusting.  Still, there are good days and not-so-good days.  Today can be chalked up to a not-so-good day.

I got together with someone I haven't visited with for quite some time.  Cutting to the chase, she shared with me some rather unpleasant information about my husband, things apparently witnessed by many others.  For starters, it's embarrassing, humiliating, disappointing.  Despite what others believe, I believe it is a reflection on me and my children.  As when he left me, I am more bewildered and sad than angry. 

I do not know what to do with this information.  Pray?  Cry?  Pray and cry?!  I just want to hide, hibernate, isolate myself until I can figure out how to deal with this.  I cannot ignore or simply wash my hands of him; he is my children's father, at the very least, as well as the man I loved and married, expecting to be together until death do us part.  Who is this man?

Father God, thank You for Your sovereignty and Your merciful care and compassion.  Give me wisdom.  Protect my children - Your children.  Amen.

He Loves Me

Not to be left out of the festive holiday, she bought herself an inexpensive bouquet of flowers.  Because, you see, it wasn't the cost or who they came from (herself), but the thought, that mattered.  And, by the way, they're lovely.

And the song playing on the radio went like this: 

I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love
The love that you never knew

According to Christian music artist JJ Heller, that's "What Love Really Means."

This Valentine's Day, there will be no "he loves me, he loves me not" because I already know - He loves me.