Match-less

Okay, so I am still an active member of the on-line dating site, Match.com.  I shudder to think how long I have been on-board with them.  Matter-of-fact, I anxiously await my expiration date.  Just to clarify, that's the expiration of the membership, not of my life. 

You may wonder why I don't just cancel and move on.  I am far too practical for that; I spent the money, dang it, and I am going to get what I paid for.  What exactly did I pay for?  Oh, yes, rollercoaster rejection.  Wheeeeeee!  Are we having fun yet?

I have corresponded briefly - I cannot express how briefly - with a few "gentlemen."  Yes, friends, I use that term loosely.  Some of the profiles read like that of a 17-year old, testosterone-crazed, I-have-yet-to-understand-women boy's Wish List:  Men who just want to have fun looking for women half their age.  Whatever.  The women are strictly prohibited from displaying any drama (good luck) and for heaven's sake, no liars, no cheaters, no game players.  Duh.

Anyway, I met this guy who has been on the site at least as long as I have.  I think I have even tried a Wink or a brief Email to generate some feedback, never to any result.  That is, until recently.  Maybe neither one of us have been successful; we're now looking at the second-string players (or are we the bench-warmers?!). 

So, after a couple weeks (maybe) of corresponding, he suggests we meet for coffee and a chat.  I knew I would be in town yesterday and made plans to meet him for coffee.  I'm a few minutes late - not a good first impression.  I was a little nervous but presented what I felt was a pretty confident, upbeat face.  He gave me a bit of an awkward handshake-hug combination and said he'd already gotten his coffee, maybe I wanted to go inside and order something.  Sure, I said.  And so I did.

He didn't offer to buy my coffee. After only an hour, he says, "C'mon, let's go."  I wasn't sure where we were going but quickly learned he was walking me to my car.  It felt like an early dismissal. Later in the day, I sent him a note saying thank you for the coffee-time chat, since I coudn't say thank you for the coffee since he didn't spring for it. It's been about 29 hours and still, I haven't heard a peep from him.  I wondered what he thought of me, of our visit.  I guess I know.  I guess I'll be buying my own coffee for a while longer. 

The Overflowing Plate

Am I the only one who puts too much on their plate?!  I know - that's a silly question. Seems to be the curse of our culture.  Aside from my full-time mommy job, I have a part-time position and two volunteer positions.   That's the short list.  Because I'm me, I have a challenging time keeping up with and successfully completing all I've committed to. 

Recently, I questioned why I had accepted the last volunteer duties and I had an epiphany.  Epiphanies can be very liberating.  It dawned on me I had accepted for two reasons:  1-There was a need.  I felt compelled to meet that need.  Nothing wrong with that.  2-I accepted to prove to myself and others I could do as much as others.  How s-t-u-p-i-d.  Something very wrong with that.  Why, oh, why, do I think I have to keep up with those imaginary Joneses? 

God designed each of us to be different beings.  There is absolutely no need for me to try to be a duplicate of someone - anyone - else.  I have some friends who are busy, busy, busy and seem to thrive on that busy-ness.  Not me.  It only makes me feel imcompetent and inadequate.  So, when I take on more than I can comfortably handle, all I really accomplish is to set myself up for a slam on my self-esteem when I can't keep up.

Maybe what I need is to put myself on a diet, a commitment diet.  So, I see a resignation in the near future.  And more room on my plate.