You know, you get to a point in a crummy situation when you believe the worst is behind you and nothing more can hurt like it did when it was fresh. Then, you hear things... sad things... embarrassing things... hurtful things...
It's been eleven months since my husband left me. I cannot believe it has been one month shy of a full year. But it has. I think I am adjusting; the situation still isn't what I wanted or expected but I'm adjusting. Still, there are good days and not-so-good days. Today can be chalked up to a not-so-good day.
I got together with someone I haven't visited with for quite some time. Cutting to the chase, she shared with me some rather unpleasant information about my husband, things apparently witnessed by many others. For starters, it's embarrassing, humiliating, disappointing. Despite what others believe, I believe it is a reflection on me and my children. As when he left me, I am more bewildered and sad than angry.
I do not know what to do with this information. Pray? Cry? Pray and cry?! I just want to hide, hibernate, isolate myself until I can figure out how to deal with this. I cannot ignore or simply wash my hands of him; he is my children's father, at the very least, as well as the man I loved and married, expecting to be together until death do us part. Who is this man?
Father God, thank You for Your sovereignty and Your merciful care and compassion. Give me wisdom. Protect my children - Your children. Amen.
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