Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Where on earth did this come from? What a lie! Clearly, the originator of that saying was not familiar with the book of James, particularly chapter 3. Words can cause irreparable damage. Ask me... I know.
James tells us in chapter 3:5-10:
So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity ; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell. For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. But no one can tame the tongue ; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God ; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing.
James was the first and my favorite book of the Bible I ever read and studied. Its truth is simple, straightforward teaching. Unfortunately, I appear to be a slow learner. I know what that book holds; I know the clear instructions it sets forth. And yet, I have been unable to bridle my tongue. Why is this? Why do I struggle so to hold my tongue, particularly in times of tense confrontation? James also instructs "everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God." (1:19b-20) I know it and yet do not do it. Why? Ah, shall we journey to the book of Romans, chapter 7 (verses 15-24)?
For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good. So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?
There are many days I feel absolutely wretched and am fully aware of the war waging inside me, as did Paul when he expressed his angst in Romans. At least I am in good company, although I would never be so bold as to compare myself with a man like Paul. It does appear, however, we have something in common: our sin nature remains an issue and a challenge to overcome for all days.
Oh! how I wish I could retract words spoken in haste... words spoken from feelings of fear, defensiveness, rejection, and hurt. Words spoken to someone who has no room in his heart for forgiveness or mercy. This man cannot set me free, but I know someone who can. His name is Jesus. I call on Him this day, this hour, this moment... be my Victory, for the battle does indeed belong to the Lord.
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